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Cancer journey tips and tricks
In Cancer sucks
mara
Jan 29, 2022
Hei hei Romee and all of you who might read this comment! I have seen your new video and that you are cancer free and I feel so happy and really emotionally touched and I want to let you know that I can relate so well with what you have been describing. I have finished my chemo already last year in November but it also took a while (5 months) and several examinations till I got the phone call that I am cancer free. I spent an Erasmus year abroad 2019/2020 till I got diagnosed. In my case the cancer was really aggressive and I got very sick very fast. When I had decided to go to a doctor I already had problems with shortness of breath and swollen lymph nodes. The doctor was thinking that I might have a form of lymphoma after just one day and some examinations and I decided together with my family that I should come back to Germany to my families place to do all the further examinations and the therapy. In Germany I have spent the first weeks in hospital and there have been weeks where I could not even stand up for an X ray examination. But my state of health did improve fast as soon as I could start chemo. Even if the therapy was quite aggressive as well. I missed one semester in my studies because of the therapy. I did not have any friends in the city where I have been hospitalized and where my family lives. I did enjoy the time with my family a lot but it's such a different life to what I have been used to. I decided to move back to the city where I used to life before I went abroad to continue my studies a view weeks before I got the phone call that I am cancer free. I did know that it was quite likely that I will be cancer free because the doctors were optimistic but I was very sceptical. I also never really said goodbye to the nurses at hospital because I did not have the trust yet that I won't go there again. But then suddenly I was sitting in my shared flat in my old place knowing that I am cancer free and that normal life was waiting for me and it felt somehow unreal. I was very grateful but I also felt a lack of emotion. Even if I had some time before I went back studying to process everything I had experienced, I still was thinking about all my experiences with cancer every day. Also I got the news that I am cancer free around the time when you, Romee, figured out that your chemo didn't work again. Physically I was in a good health and my lessons at university went quite well. But mentally I felt emptiness and I could not stop thinking that it was sheer luck that the therapy did work in my case and everything could be totally different and I could be totally dead by now and so many people are experiencing exactly what I am afraid of. In a way I feel very connected with other people when I am thinking that we are all somehow lost in the world and our power to live our lifes as we want it to be is limited. But I spent so much time with trying to prepare myself for everything what could come that I needed lots of time to learn how to make plans for the future again and how to have dreams. When I was younger I used to be very nervous about talking in front of a group. This has changed so much. in the beginning I didn't feel any kind of excitement. It was also quite helpful because when I had to for example conduct a choir or an orchestra (its part of my studies) I could concentrate on the music because I did not care about what other people might think of me. I also did not have any capacity in my mind to develop romantic feeling for anybody. So going on dates was also not really interesting for me for a long time. Most of the time I was feeling okay. Not really good but also not really bad. But even if I also was quite sure that I will never be the person again that I used to be, I have to say that a lot of my old me had come back in the last months and somehow I am very happy about that. I feel more excitement, I also feel more embarrassment and sometimes I am getting lost in daydreams. I start to have the same struggles as my friends have. Being a bit lost in our mid-twenties seems to be a common thing. When I was sick I have not been thinking about those kind of things and sometimes I miss that. I don't think about the cancer every day. I also don't feel afraid often. Just sometimes and I know that it will get even better when time goes by. From time to time I feel the need to share my thoughts and feelings about being sick and recovering with people (or just write it down not knowing if anyone will read this one day :D). It does help me a lot with processing everything. Once again I want to say thank you, Romee, for this safe space and thank you for your decision to share your story on YouTube. It was so impressing to watch you grow mentally. I love the fact that also after you have got diagnosed you have shown us that there is much more than just the disease in the life of a cancer patient. You are brilliant! :D
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Cancer journey tips and tricks
In Cancer sucks
Cancer journey tips and tricks
In Cancer sucks
mara
Jan 01, 2021
Hello everybody and happy new year! I think this platform is a great idea and I am very curious what other people like to do to be able to cope with cancer. Thank you, Romee! I think you are cool. Here are my tricks: A nurse told me that ginger tea is the best when you have nausea and I really enjoyed ginger tea during chemo. I am studying music and I tried to invent melodies to all of the scary things I find in my hospital room including the chemo infusions. Also it's an interesting challenge to try speaking the names of all the infusions and drugs fluently in a fast tempo. I really like getting to know the hospital staff. I found some of their stories very inspiring. Doing Origami to calm down works good for me. Now I have a lot of cranes... A friend once told me she imagines giving a hug to all her friends when she feels sad. This is a nice trick if you can not hug anybody for some time. Painting on my completely bald head was fun for me and I made some silly short films to entertain my family. When the hair starts growing again it's so soft that everybody wants to fondle your head. I recommend good headphones in hospital to not hear the beeping sounds from everywhere... And sometimes I tried singing even if it doesn't sound wonderful. I like to watch not only Youtube videos from people who have cancer but also from people who suffer a chronical disease for example cystic fibrosis because they are often more experienced in dealing with being sick and I feel that I can learn from them. I don't know if you know Claire Wineland. She is such an inspiring and great person but unfortunately not alive anymore but her videos are still online and they helped me so much.
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